The Story
I have always been a romantic soul. From the time I was just a wee thing I have had my attention on this aspect of life. From my first boyfriend in second grade through my first marriage and divorce I have learned a ton about love, commitment, failure and starting over.
I came to coaching 10 years ago after working for the USPS.
One aspect of my work was helping postal workers resolve conflict. I loved this area and found it gratifying to help people let go of their anger and fear and be able to listen to each other. I also enjoyed helping those who had lost their voices gain confidence in themselves. I opened the doors of my own business with the intention of taking my personal and professional experience and using it in the private sector.
My philosophy
I initially offered my services to those who wanted to go to a new level in their business. I enjoyed this very much and still offer this service. My personal life however pushed me to revisit my passion for romance and help those in the area of personal relationships as my primary work.
I wanted to bring the very best skills to my clients so I became certified at the top coaching school in the country. The coaches training institute.
During my first year as a coach my own marriage ended. This was a very painful experience for me and forced me to look at my marriage and myself. One of the things that was clear to me during this introspective time was how little I knew about marriage before I got married. I also saw that even though my husband and I had worked on our marriage and gone to a therapist for years. Even though this was an area I had a natural knowing about. There was something missing in my marriage right from the start. It was then that I decided to continue my training and specialize in relationships.
Offerings
Besides my personal coaching of couples and individuals who are seeking to have the best relationships possible I have also created programs and products that help people in this area.
The Queen of Hearts Wedding Program
It’s not just a Wedding its your Life Booklet
The Staying Engaged Playing Cards
The Art and Science of Romance Program
The 7 Keys to Extra Ordinary Relationship CD
My current Private Coaching offerings include:
Weekly or bi-monthly 45 minute sessions:
- Business Coaching
- Life Coaching
- Relationship Enhancement Coaching for couples and individuals
- Pre-Marital Coaching
- The Art and Science of Romance 6 week program
Private Coaching: $125 a session
I also offer a package of 6 prepaid sessions for only $600!
(These sessions must be held within a 3 month period)
Call to get your FREE consultation 805.641.3281 or email
If the following description fits you ask about my 6 week program or visit the Relationship Alchemy Coaching Circle Page.
Spirited female entrepreneurs seeking Romance!
Would you like to have a Successful Career AND a romantic personal life? Do you know in your heart that you deserve the best of both worlds?
Are you a feisty, passionate, powerful, sassy, successful women who yearns for a romantic life to match who you really are?
OR…ARE YOU A SUCCESFUL WOMAN IN A COMMITED RELATIONSHIP WHO NEEDS SOME HELP WITH ROMANCE ON THE HOME FRONT? WELL WHAT I DO IS HELP YOU TO CREATE HARMONY AT HOME STARTING WITH YOUR OWN HEART.
Would you like to engage with your heart to have the best of both worlds – to make a difference in the world and to have a great romantic life as well? Would you like to use your passion and intelligence to create radical romance and to overcome those pesky obstacles that are in the way of you realizing your romantic dreams?
Would you like to do this with the help of an expert guide who makes the process fun as well as magical USING THE LAWS OF ATTRACTION?
That’s why I have created
The Art and Science of Romance 6-week program and The Relationship Alchemy Coaching Circle’s for women
The Art and Science of Romance is a 6 week program which includes 6 private sessions, materials and in between session support. Total cost: $600 pre-paid. The Relationship Alchemy Coaching Circle is an ongoing coaching and support group. Total cost: $125 a month.
The Exercise
The Promised Land Exercise
One of the easiest ways to find yourself in hot water is to just blurt out frustration or anger. But when you speak to another person in a way that points the finger of blame, the natural consequence is for that person to shoot back, defend him or herself or simply shut down. None of those reactions ever does them or you any good. Nothing worthwhile gets communicated and often you get dumped into a downward cycle of despair.
It is also not healthy to suppress your truth. To be able to express your true nature in a way that others can hear is a wonderful experience!
It is important not to “stuff” our feelings, right? But there’s a huge difference between not stuffing and some full expression that creates a negative impact. As with having good rules and agreements, this next exercise is excellent at setting up a boundary that creates order rather than chaos.
This exercise is useful for those occasions when you are either upset or wishing to express something that seems sensitive.
Let me provide you with some new language and a little set up before we head into the exercise:
- PAUSE: Breathing and taking your own personal time out. Pausing is a habit that gives us the ability to be in the present moment and access our internal wisdom instead of reacting thoughtlessly or shutting down.
- REPORT: Communicating what you are feeling, thinking, experiencing in a neutral way. Reporting is a structure for taking ownership of whatever you are about to say.
- RELEASE: Letting go of knowing or of searching for what to do next. Releasing is helpful when you are in a situation where you just know that talking is not going to work.
- HAND IT BACK OVER: This is a brilliant way to stay grounded in situations when the other person is upset.
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Now, let’s move on to the exercise.
The Reporting Exercise
Step 1: PAUSE
Take a pause, a time out. Just plain stop the flow of negative or insecure thinking. Put yourself in neutral.
Step 2: REPORT
Silently – or out loud to yourself or another person:
Use these phrases to start your sentence: I need to report that… OR I’m noticing that…
When you say these words, you are taking full responsibility for your own feelings or thoughts. When you hear them, you honor them as a loving boundary. As you’ll see in the examples, this is a powerful and positive tool of communication – as long as you take ownership and don’t turn it into a sneaky kind of blaming.
Examples
To Yourself: I need to report that I hate it when he does that and I could go crazy right now.
To Other: I need to report that I am feeling awkward in this situation it is nothing personal to you.
I’m noticing that I am feeling angry. I’m noticing that my stomach is all knotted up.
I’m noticing that I am thinking negative thoughts so I am going to go take a bath.
Step 3: RELEASE
Internal
This sounds like: Oh well, that didn’t work. I don’t know what is really going on so I will trust that l will find my way eventually.
Or: I don’t know what to do so I will simply let this go for now and see what happens.
Step 4: HAND IT BACK OVER
External
I hear what you are saying.
What do you think is needed?
How would that look?
What are the results you are wanting here?
What would it take to make this right?
Play around with the Reporting Exercise. Use the steps that come most naturally. Stretch a little and allow yourself to feel stiff too. Use the steps together, use them alone or make up phrases of your own. |
